How to Get Over Your Fear of Confrontation with Confidence

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You’re dreading it – that speech pinch your boss, your important other, your neighbor, your teenager… you cognize that conversation. You’ve been avoiding it forever, but you conscionable can’t support things arsenic they are, and this time, you person to opportunity something.

Fear of confrontation is thing almost each 1 of america feels astatine immoderate constituent successful our lives. It comes pinch nan territory of being quality and communicating pinch others. So, while a spot of worry astir having those challenging conversations is natural, experiencing fearfulness of confrontation astatine nan level that stops you from having a sound will costs you successful much ways than one.

I would reason that nan biggest nonaccomplishment is questioning really you consciousness astir yourself, your self-worth, and your confidence.

So, really do you get complete your fearfulness of confrontation?

Steps to Getting Over Your Fear of Confrontation

1. Shift nan Script

It starts pinch confronting yourself astir what “confrontation” means.

Do you judge that it’s an enactment of aggression? Are you readying yourself to spell into conflict wherever location tin beryllium only 1 winner? Has acquisition taught you that confrontation is to beryllium avoided because it only leads to adverse reactions, wounded feelings, and tons of regrets?

According to Merriam-Webster, confrontation tin beryllium defined arsenic “a face-to-face meeting” aliases “the clashing of forces aliases ideas.” .

This anticipation of antagonistic outcomes becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So alternatively of reasoning of each of nan disastrous results that whitethorn happen, what if you started to deliberation of confrontation successful a very different way? Shifting nan script, and defining it successful a much affirmative ray is really you statesman to flooded your fearfulness of confrontation.

Confrontation is, astatine its core, thing much than opposing ideas aliases disagreeing opinions being communicated. The fearfulness of confrontation comes into play erstwhile we attack it not arsenic patient statement but arsenic emotions escalating, getting retired of control, and an inevitable win-lose situation. Reframing nan speech to attraction connected nan anticipation that confrontation does not person to get disfigured automatically positions america to amended definitive ourselves without nan fears of doing so.

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So, earlier you intend to pass pinch different personification aliases an full group of people, return nan clip to understand your ain beliefs and understandings regarding nan situation. Make judge you are not successful a antagonistic spot to start. How you show up to that brushwood is going to power really it ends up going.

2. Have Fun “Rocking nan Boat”

Once you redefine what you’ve assumed confrontation needs to be, return it a measurement further and determine that you’re going to person nosy “rocking nan boat.”

Deliberately asking for what you want and believing it is needed is nan only measurement you mightiness get it. While it’s existent that you person nary power complete what nan different statement brings to nan table, it’s besides existent that if you don’t ask, you don’t get. And if you support doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll support getting what you’ve been getting.

Therefore, why not attack confrontation pinch much light-heartedness and humor? Laughter has been proven to beryllium a powerfulness instrumentality successful elevating moods, provides arsenic accent relief, and eve strengthens nan intimacy and relationship you person pinch others.

Tips to Go About Confrontation:

  • Ask questions of others from a spot of curiosity, not pointing fingers. Pay attraction to what others are trying to pass and position nan rumor from their constituent of view. Maybe location is thing location that will deed a statement pinch you, and thing you ne'er thought of before.
  • Consider that things aren’t ever “black aliases white.” Be mindful, that others are besides trying to understand what it is you are trying to say. Don’t get disappointment if they don’t rather “get it,” successful your opinion. It’s your occupation to make judge what you are communicating is, indeed, hitting nan mark.
  • In betwixt this backmost and forth, stock a laughter astatine thing you each person successful common. Because nary matter what nan confrontation whitethorn be, we stock much successful communal than not.

A awesome crippled to play that’ll relieve immoderate of that fearfulness of confrontation is to return turns, uninterrupted, sharing your respective points of view. When 1 personification is vanished speaking, they inquire nan others, “what did you perceive maine say?” The different statement summs up what they heard.

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If they’ve nailed it, past it’s their move to speak their mind. If they didn’t, they proceed until they are fixed nan “yes, that’s precisely what I said” motion from nan speaker. This workout whitethorn look silly astatine first, but it’s a existent eye-opener regarding really elemental misunderstandings tin beryllium cleared up earlier escalating to a full-blown worst-case script confrontation.

3. Overcome Your Need to People-Please

Fear of confrontation has much to do pinch you than pinch nan different group pinch whom you’re engaged. Avoiding conflict is tied to people-pleasing, and people-pleasing is often tied to childhood; people-pleasing is nan emotion of being overly concerned pinch pleasing others and earning nan support from others.

Growing up successful environments that were dismissive aliases hypercritical causes america arsenic adults to fearfulness asserting our opinions. As a result, we study that it’s overmuch safer to enactment silent.

But that was then, and this is now. As an adult, it’s clip to show that small kid you were agelong agone (and who is still wrong of you) that you’ve sewage this. You person a voice. What you deliberation has value. You matter.

It’s clip to believe disappointing group connected purpose. Yes, I cognize it sounds a small nutty. But spot me, it works.

To believe your sound erstwhile dealing pinch group aliases situations that aren’t arsenic high-stakes is empowering. Telling someone, “no, I won’t,” aliases “unfortunately, I’m incapable to travel done connected that astatine this time,” moreover erstwhile you really could do immoderate it is they are asking of you is simply a ace powerful believe for erstwhile it really matters.

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The power of saying no goes a agelong way. Why? Because successful these lesser-charged opportunities, you saying, “no, that’s not what I want to do,” will without a uncertainty person nan different personification knowing your boundaries and moreover serves arsenic a shape of self-care.

Every clip you get affirmative affirmation arsenic opposed to a scary aliases unnerving response, you summation assurance successful letting your sound beryllium heard and speaking your mind.

Let’s opportunity your partner asks you to plaything by connected your measurement location to prime up their barren cleaning. You could. But alternatively of saying yes, moreover if it’d beryllium easy for you to do, conscionable opportunity no. “Oh, shoot, I won’t beryllium capable to.” Don’t explicate why unless you want to travel up pinch a reason. “I person plans aft activity and won’t beryllium successful that portion of town.”

The thought of you not pleasing your personification whitethorn capable you pinch a spot of trepidation, but effort it, and you’ll soon recognize that you person powerfulness and that nan different personification will judge your response.

Taking those empowering experiences pinch you to a speech that whitethorn beryllium much emotionally charged helps you to find nan courageousness and spot to opportunity what you want to alternatively than not conscionable because of a fearfulness of confrontation that – now – you tin opportunity you utilized to have. Overcoming fearfulness of conflict takes practice, and babe steps will get you there.

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Final Thoughts

Overcoming your fearfulness of confrontation is simply a practice. Any connection pinch different personification aliases group that’s worthy having whitethorn person moments wherever confrontations happen. Learning to conquer confrontation fears is worthy nan work. Shift your script, person nosy rocking nan boat, and believe getting complete your request to please others. It’s each astir taking nan first babe steps and putting these tips into practice.

Featured photograph credit: LinkedIn Sales Solutions via

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